Good men grow up….
Well, it’s been a wild ride. I’m 64—still paddling, still chasing that next set. We’re not quite there yet, but I’ve got something to share.
Little Boys Lyric Video is out now on YouTube.
Catch it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wSYATbvBNE
And if you want to dig deeper, all my links are here:
https://linktr.ee/kemblasaltworks
I’m holding back the release to stores for a bit—making some mix adjustments. Since it was never going to make my birthday release date, I’m actually happy to take a little more time to get it right. Sometimes you paddle hard for a wave, miss it, and take a few on the head. But you paddle back out, saltier and wiser, and wait for the wave of the day.
Thanks for sticking with me. The best is yet to come.
— Ken (Kembla Saltworks)
Lyrics
Climbing rocks down at the lakeside
Halfway up the wall
Only forty inches
Feeling six feet tall
Climbin’ up behind him
A little just in case
Be the one to catch him if he falls
Open up your eyes and see
A good man deep inside
Little boys and broken toys
That's just the way it goes
Rough and tumble
Wild at heart
Make a little noise
Don't try to try to fight it
With a little guidance
Good men grow up from little boys
Took him to the backwoods
Fishing in a creek
Taught him how to light a fire
With nothing but a stick
Show him how to ride a bike
Gonna teach him how to pray
How to be the best that he can be
Open up your eyes and see
A good man deep inside
Little boys and broken toys
That's just the way it goes
Rough and tumble
Wild at heart
Make a little noise
Don't try to try to fight it
With a little guidance
Good men grow up from little boys
There's nothing wrong with courage
And nothing wrong with strength
Nothing wrong with standing up to fight
And to protect
Nothing wrong with tenderness
And knowing how to love
How to treat a woman with respect
Open up your eyes and see
The good man deep inside
Little boys and broken toys
That's just the way it goes
Rough and tumble
Wild at heart
Make a little noise
Don't try to try to fight it
With a little guidance
Good men grow up… from little boys
Good men grow up from little boys
Good men grow up from little boys (Good men)
Good men grow up from little boys
Behind the song
I wrote Little Boys in 2023, after a moment that etched itself in my soul. My grandson was three—restless, untamed, and full of spark, living with ADHD and autism. One afternoon, my wife and I took him to the lake near our home, chasing blue skies and open air. In a flash, he tore off toward a steep, rocky hill and began to climb—no fear, no thought, just instinct and fire.
The world then was awash with talk of “toxic masculinity.” Everywhere, noise and blame. But in quieter places, I heard something else—conversations about rough-and-tumble play, about how boys learn through movement, risk, and boundary. Not to be dangerous, but to understand their strength. That walk by the lake stayed with me. So did the climb.
I think often about what we ask of boys in this age—how quickly we forget that the wild in them is not a flaw, but a beginning. Most men are good men. And most good men were once little boys like my grandson—restless, reckless, wild at heart, trying to find their place. Little Boys is for them, and for those who stand beside them. An anthem for the fathers, grandfathers, big brothers, and uncles who know that guidance doesn’t mean quenching the flame—but helping it burn true.
Mental Health Tip: On Raising Little Boys (and Staying Sane)
Mental health notes
The second biggest issue I encounter in my counselling practice is parenting. When we were kids, our parents seemed almost like gods. Almighty, knowing everything. It's only when we become parents ourselves that we discover that kids don't come with a manual. They have the uncanny ability to reveal all our weaknesses, insecurities and ignorance. We're all making it up as we go along. There's plenty of advice and guidebooks, but none of them are a magic pill for parenting difficulties.
Raising kids, particularly little boys, is not for the faint-hearted - so what's my addition to the surging tide of information overload? For what it's worth:
Treat your kids the way you would like to be treated
See: How to help kids understand and manage their emotions (APA)1If you want to be a great role model – prioritise managing your emotions – even if that means putting yourself in time out
See: Parents: role models & influences on teens (Raising Children Network)2
Also: Observing/Modeling Emotion Regulation in the Family (NIH)3Never make a promise or a threat you cannot or will not keep
See: The Power of a Promise | Motivation Kids Story (YouTube)4Do your best to assume the best – if your kid is struggling – remember how much stuff you struggle with, and remember how long it got to get to your current level of incompetence
See: The Best Advice Real Parents Have for Raising Difficult Kids (Parents.com)5Remember they likely got half their genes from you – and that genes generally account for about 50% of our personality, tendency to happiness, mental and physical health – and sometimes more so
See: How Genetics Can Influence Mental Illness (Medanta)6Set high but reasonable standards for yourself AND be kind when you mess up – because you will
See: Understanding Expectations vs. Standards with Kids (The Everymom)7Focus on relationship repair, forgiveness and kindness rather than perfection
See: Forgiveness And Your Relationship with Your Child (Shameproof Parenting)8See the best in them and encourage them to use their strengths, even if it means going against the crowd
See: The Best Advice Real Parents Have for Raising Difficult Kids (Parents.com)5Check out some of the resources below for more practical strategies and support.
Resources
Here is your list sorted alphabetically by first author’s last name:
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Encourages self-compassion, forgiveness, and embracing imperfection in parenting.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Highlights the importance of assuming potential and growth rather than fixed traits.
Faber, A., & Mazlish, E. (1980). How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. A classic guide acknowledging the uncertainties of parenting.
Fay, C., & Cline, F. (1990). Parenting with Love and Logic. Focuses on setting reasonable standards and encouraging responsibility.
Flanders JL, Leo V, Paquette D, Pihl RO, Séguin JR. Rough-and-tumble play and the regulation of aggression: an observational study of father-child play dyads. Aggress Behav. 2009 Jul-Aug;35(4):285-95. doi: 10.1002/ab.20309. PMID: 19431190; PMCID: PMC3283567.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Highlights the importance of empathy and respect in relationships, including parenting.
Gottman, J. (1997). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. Focuses on parental emotional regulation as a model for children.
Plomin, R. (2018). The Genetics of Personality. Explores genetic influences on personality, happiness, and mental health.
Plomin, R., et al. (2016). Behavioral Genetics. Comprehensive overview of genetic and environmental influences.
Reckmeyer, M., & Robison, J. (2013). Strengths-Based Parenting. Promotes encouraging children’s strengths to foster resilience.
Ridley, M. (2003). Nature via Nurture: Genes, Experience, and What Makes Us Human. Discusses gene-environment interaction.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. This book explains the complexity of parenting and why there is no one-size-fits-all manual.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2020). The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired. Emphasizes trust, reliability, and keeping promises in parenting.
Siegel, D. J., & Hartzell, M. (2003). Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive. Explores how parents’ own experiences shape parenting challenges.